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Religion

  • Ode to the Greatly Offended among us

    One night several weeks ago, my husband said good night, ran into the bedroom and locked the door — something he’s done dozens of times, always in a playful, good-natured way, always unlocking it within seconds.

    I usually laugh, except when I don’t, like that one night several weeks ago.

    That night, for whatever reason, I decided to be Greatly Offended.

  • Smiles for sultry summer

    Those hot, sultry dog days of August are upon us. What better way to beat the heat than to sit back and enjoy a few jokes?

    A few weeks back, a friend of mine sent me the following gems, which supposedly came from a Catholic elementary school Bible test. Though the source here is clearly not Jewish, laughter knows no boundaries and I wanted to share them with my readers. Pay particular attention to the spellings! The comments in parentheses are all mine.

  • God answers prayer, right?

    In 1999, I wrote a book, “Prayers God Always Answers.”

    I had scribbled that title on a piece of paper a few years before that because I was pretty much convinced that God had put in earplugs whenever he saw me getting ready to pray.

    Back then, and truthfully even now 15 years later, I didn’t and still don’t understand how prayer works. Like, if I’m praying for rain and you’re praying that it doesn’t rain, how does God decide whose prayer wins?

  • Wantology 101

    Just when you think there’s nothing new under the sun, something new comes along.

    There’s a new field of psychology called “wantology.” It’s an actual field of expertise where “wantologists” help people discern or define their wants and desires and then help them work out a plan to achieve them.

    That’s what I want — a wantologist!

  • Wantology 101

    Just when you think there’s nothing new under the sun, something new comes along.

    There's a new field of psychology called "wantology." It's an actual field of expertise where "wantologists" help people discern or define their wants and desires and then help them work out a plan to achieve them.

    That's what I want — a wantologist!

  • God’s mercy: The original GPS

    It all started when I was a kid bothering my dad and he told me to get lost.

    Ever the obedient child, I did, and I’ve been getting lost ever since.

    Oh, I jest.

    Seriously, I have no sense of direction, which for many years was a major source of contention between me and the newspaper’s photographer. In giving him directions to a photo assignment, I would often get something wrong and he’d end up in a swamp or empty field.

  • What are you noshing on?

    Not very long ago, ethnic food was just that, ethnic. Italians ate pasta, Mexicans, tacos, and Jews, bagels and lox. Today in our assimilated cultural milieu, just about anything goes and foods that we once considered “ethnic” have found their way into mainstream American cuisine — much to the delight of us all.

  • The Music Man

     

    Chronicle staff

    LECANTO - In many of today’s churches, worship music tends to fall into one of two camps: contemporary songs and choruses or old-fashioned hymns sung the same way for decades.

    But there’s a third camp, a revisiting of the old hymns, leaving the theologically rich texts but tweaking or even completely rewriting the music — and adding drums and electric or acoustic guitars.

  • Grace offers wellness

    If you are lacking medical insurance, do not qualify for Medicaid or are financially strapped, you may find welcome help at one of the newest health clinics in Citrus County in Homosassa.

    Dr. Geoffrey Roberts, a doctor in Citrus County since 1986, emerged from retirement this month as a consulting physician at the new Grace Clinic primary care center in on U.S. 19 in Homosassa, founded by DNP John Hess.

  • Life lessons in the mud

    Although I personally don’t get the fascination with running races through mud, these days lots of people do.

    A few years ago, my two daughters did a mud race together. My oldest daughter, Alison, said the obstacles freaked her out and she doesn’t like climbing cargo nets and was leery of leaping over fire.